One of my pet peeves in the industry I’ve worked in for the past 18 years is the lack of empathy or compassion when negotiating a real estate sale. I believe that we should always strive to be nice for the sake of being nice. Real estate comes with heavy emotions, on both sides. As an agent representing either side of a deal, you can position yourself to keep a level head, show enthusiasm, check your ego, be like-able, honest and show integrity before you answer your phone and say “hello”.

A little reminder for us agents —-

If you are a buyer’s agent wishing to make a bid on a seller’s home remember: the home your clients wish to buy might be the sellers “baby”. They may have purchased it when it was a dump, given up weekends and holidays to get it done, and sweated blood, tears and have gone through multiple marriage counseling sessions to bring it to market. Don’t be the asshole agent that barks orders to accept an offer within 12 hours of them listing the house. Try instead to be more kind; more empathetic, because being rude will get you nowhere. Show that you are an organized, likeable and patient agent, one that understands that the sellers might want a couple days of market time, and your buyers aren’t going anywhere — they really want the house.

As broker’s we have a vested interest in pairing clients with a buyer that will make a good offer and a fair deal. If a broker feels as if you are difficult to work with, that you’re waving a red flag at day one, they will worry what the rest of the negations might bring. Don’t be an asshole (something I tell my 15 and 18 year old children- practice kindness).

If you are a seller’s agent bringing a new home to the market remember: Most homes are not perfect. You may have hired the painters to help your clients pre-list and stage the home, it’s looking very dialed and swanky (especially the coffee table), but upon closer inspection, the roof is three layers and the sewer is broken. In our current market, it is often the case for seller’s agent to call a buyer’s agent and say, “I have 10 offers in hand and while yours is the highest and the best, and my sellers really do appreciate that you went 100,000 over asking, they do not feel the need to credit you $5000 for the sewer repair. You must take it as-is or we will go to the back-up offer. First, threats don’t feel very nice. I implore all listing agents to have the courage to talk with their sellers not only about the deficiencies in the systems of the home that a buyer would be taking on, but how they would feel in the buyer’s shoes. As a listing agent if you know that the sellers roof is shot, get a couple of roofing bids prior to listing the home so your seller has opinions from professionals. Educate your sellers so they can be prepared to make decisions before you are at the end of your inspection period. Educating sellers makes them feel less blind sighted. My job as an agent is to bring as much finical security to a seller but it’s equally important that I ask my clients to stretch towards a place of fairness and compassion.  Its one of the way we can change the world.

Never underestimate the power of practicing kindness in real estate. Try to see both sides, that’s where the goodness lies. Being kind doesn’t make you a sucker or less business-like in real estate, it allows you to be in a place of integrity.