Without Sheila Boone, I would not have spent the last 10 years living in house that has brought the children and I great joy and many memories. As Sheila aged, she could no longer take care of the home she had lived in for 40 years and reached out to my ex husband and I to purchase it. That was many years ago.. Before I became single and moved into Sheila’s house on my own. After the rats, squirrels and feral cats vacated the property and extra large dumpsters of hoarded items were taken to the dump, the house was gutted. Down to the studs. Only the fir floors would be salvaged since the rest of the house was a 50-80’s hodge-podge. The house was rebuilt slowly. After the new walls went up and fresh paint covered the surfaces, the kids and I moved in. We were now a trio, rather than a family of four. It was a very sad time for me with lots of nights crying myself to sleep and pushing back against a wall of depression. 19 years of marriage and dreams with the same partner dissolves into pulling back the layers of an onion all on your own.

But as time went by, I sunk my creative energy into my little home. Collections of art overtook walls, bird nests filled the porch, plants that I dug up from vacant lots that developers were about to bulldoze were planted in my front yard. The digging, scrubbing, ripping things apart and re-doing became a way for me to channel Sheila’s hard-working-crotchety energy. She once told me that while she had been married for a short period of time (she believed her husband to be gay), she thought herself better on her own. “You make more progress being on your own. There’s no one telling you how things should be.” is what she would say. Not having Sheila’s hardened heart (she carried a chip on her shoulder about every man), I never really believed her. But looking back, I have in fact, channeled some of Sheila’s strong-willed beliefs for the last 10 years.

This week I am moving out of Sheila’s house on SE 34th and into a rental I own 10 blocks away. Saying goodbye to 1129 is bittersweet. I am moving into my rental with a fiancé’ and my children. There are perks to the move – the kids will longer have to share a room and I can see love on a daily basis and share morning coffee daily with him. Lots of big change happening as a ‘four-some’. What would Sheila say to me at this time in my life? — Oddly, I think she would probably tell me another story about growing up in the depression years and how hard it was. Her story might turn to her years as a welder in the shipping yard, but come back and settle on the garden I have planted. She liked all things green and growing and would like what I have done. Finally, with a tip of her head, she might say — You have loved this house. I see that bright and clear. Now, get back to work and pack so you can make the deadline for the new fellow. No dilly-dallying. Allowed.

Yes, I think that’s what Sheila is thinking right now. Get back to work Tracy. You don’t have time to dwell on your emotions or what the future holds. Be present.